Jorge Bucay- An Interview translation (partly) and 'Count on me' quotes

Hallelujah by Misty on deviantart

I want you to listen to me without judging me
I want your opinion without advice
I want you to trust me without requirements
I want your help, not to decide for me
I want you to take care of me without invalidating me
I want you to look without projecting yourself onto me
I want you to embrace me without making me choke
I want you to give me vitality without pushing me
I want to be supported by you, not to become a burden to you
I want you to protect me without lies
I want you to be close without invading
I want you to be aware of my sides that are the most disturbing to you, to accept them and to not try to change them...
I want you to know.. that today you can depend on me... unconditionally

 
Jorge Bucay was on this blog earlier and I think that he'll continue to make appearances, because he is a very competent story-teller and a phychotherapist that can talk simple words and still be a professional or a scientist if you want. Some of his stories helped me immediately with problems 'on the agenda' or ones occuring suddenly. I think this tells something. And today this post about him is also a way of giving an answer to a person very dear to me :)

So, I'll begin with a translation of a small part of an interview I found in greek and I'll proceed with a summary and some very important stories from his book 'Count on me'.

In particular, I'm gonna translate the part about happiness- he was asked his opinion on the nature of happiness/ his definition of it and how we can attain it.

First of all, happiness is something happening from inside towards outside and not from outside towards inside. I mean, it's not something that has to do with the things someone achieves, but with the inner peace that someone has in his life.
For me, happiness is attained once you realise what meaning has your life. That means why you live in reality, what activities you engage in, life is not just a passage that occurs beyond my own will, but something that has to do with the things I do.
When I feel that my 'road' and my target walk side by side, then I feel at peace. And this peace I call happiness.

And now to the book. Bucay uses his usual tactic of telling stories to 'solve' problems. Demian is the one that listens to them. He's come back from the previous book 'Let me tell you' (which was my first book of his), where he was still a university student. Years have passed and he is a full time doctor around forties with lots of changes in his personal and work life occuring and in order to get a grasp of his own life, he seeks help in his 'old friend', the 'Fat'. To sum it up: he's divorced, has also got out of a fleeting affair, a new beautiful -both in mind and body- woman appears and a chance to a more fulfilling work life makes its appearance. His mother finds a new partner after her spouse's death some years ago, his new love doesn't and won't leave from her birthplace for him and his fears and insecurities are always there...

From the back cover of the greek edition there's a meaningful excerpt :

"There are some that walk through the castle of their life trying not to pay anything for it, and they can't enjoy it. There are some others who rush in order to get there earlier and who lose everything without enjoying anything, too. Some few learn this lesson and take their time for each route. They discover and cherish each corner, each step. They know this won't be for free, but they understand that the price of living, it worths it."

The Fat stayed silent and I stood up to leave. When we reached the door, he added:
"Let the things happening, each in its time, and never try to push the river..."

my lullaby by kidchan on deviantart

Another story tells about the bread making. At first some people discovered how to plant wheat and that they could make a bread out of it. When someday the wheat caught a disease, they couldn't plant anymore wheat. But they could plant barley. People complained that this wasn't wheat, this doesn't look like wheat and this can't make bread. Barley bread didn't taste as good as wheat bread. But now there was no wheat. There was barley. And that barley was the best it could exist.- Of course, all of his stories are symbolical.

I'll sum up two more: Helen Keller was to be titled Doctorate. The dean introduced her with fluttering words, focusing on the achievent of her goals inspite her disability. When she spoke, she said:
"I agree with mr. dean at some points and at some other not.[...] I agree for example that I'm an admirable woman, but I disagree steadily with the reasoning. I'm not admirable for what I achieved having been born with my disabilty. I'm admirable anyway just for the fact I tried."

Once upon a time there was a clock maker that returned back to his village after a two-year absense. As expected many people brought him broken clocks and watches. Although he looked after each and everyone of them there weren't many that could be repaired. To be precise, only one could be repaired. That one was a very precious memento from the owner's father, so every night he took it to his hands, he warmthened it and polished it. This small gesture, this tiny bit of care kept the clock alive. It was this preservation of illusion that saved the clock from a rusted death.

To close this post, I quote the most used phrase in this book:

Let's give chance a chance!

and whoever understood, understood ;)